Two New York Times stories on faulty Halliburton cement supplies to BP

The New York Times posted two stories covering the "unstable" cement Halliburton supplied to BP for its well. The article, "Panel Says Firms Knew of Cement Flaws Before Spill", by John M. Broder has a more focused lead and body than "Inquiry Puts Halliburton in a Familiar Hot Seat" by Barry Meier and Clifford Kraus. I'm a bit surprised that The New York Times' editors placed both of these stories on the "Front Page" section of their "Today's Paper" page online.

Lead

Broder's lead lets the reader know what the article is about right away, "Halliburton officials knew weeks before the fatal explosion of the BP well in the Gulf of Mexico that the cement mixture they planned to use to seal the bottom of the well was unstable but still went ahead with the job, the presidential commission investigating the accident said on Thursday." However, Meier and Kraus' article doesn't mention the Halliburton cement incident until the second paragraph. Instead, it talks about Halliburton's past issues which gives readers no idea of what the article is about. Meier and Kraus lead with, "Halliburton is back in the spotlight, and once again, in an uncomfortable way. In recent years, the giant energy services company has found itself under scrutiny over allegations that it performed shoddy, overpriced work for the United States military in Iraq, bribed Nigerian officials to win energy contracts and did brisk business with Iran at time when it faced sanctions." When I read that lead, I was a little lost. I had no idea which one of those topics the article was about. Turns out, it was about yet another topic covered in later paragraphs.

Body Paragraphs

Broder's body paragraphs stay focused on the Halliburton's cement controversy. In contrast, Meier and Kraus are all over the board with their Halliburton story. They keep going back and forth between the cement controversy, Halliburton's past controversies, and Halliburton's image damage. It has three separate stories that can be their own articles. It's confusing.

Juan Williams: the facts, please

Anyone interested in the Juan Williams controversy should read the following February 2009 post on NPR.org by the NPR ombudsman. So refreshing to have actual facts reported along with opinion. This post lauds Williams' achievements as a journalist, quotes other well known NPR reporters speaking about Juan Williams in glowing and bewildered terms, and discusses the pitfalls of holding two jobs in two news organizations with such different purposes, principles and goals.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/ombudsman/2009/02/juan_williams_npr_and_fox_news_1.html

Then read the recent ombudsman post on Williams' firing. Once again, facts! The post lays out the ways in which Williams did, in fact, act in contradiction to the code of ethics of one of his employers.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/ombudsman/2010/10/21/130713285/npr-terminates-contract-with-juan-williams

By the way, I can't find a code of ethics for Fox News. Surely one exists?

Michael Moore's Response to Juan Williams

I tend to have mixed feelings about Michael Moore, and The Huffington Post, for that matter. However, I found Moore's letter (in his typical tongue-in-cheek style) interesting and worth a look.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-moore/juan-williams-is-right-po_b_772766.html

ON JUAN WILLIAMS

The whole incident with Juan Williams is exemplary of the problems with media today. The lines are blurring and it’s hard to tell what is commentary and what is news. I agree with Juan Williams right to reveal his thoughts and I agree that it is nothing out of the ordinary to hear such things in the O’reilly Factor.

I don’t know if it is appropriate to for Juan Williams to play different roles on NPR and on FOX NEWS. On NPR , Juan Williams, was more tamed. A measured commentator, but on FOX NEW is he is more daring and edgy.

Juan Williams was playing to opposite spectrums. I don’t think Juan Williams is the problem. The media is the problem. The media is the problem because it has a problem. The problem being that it has to entertain and each outlet has to compete for attention. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to get attention with good stories and reporting. These days in order to get attention one needs a little controversy is needed.

Lede with descriptive verbs

The AP article "Indonesia's volcanic eruption claims 25 lives" posted on indianexpress.com uses descriptive verbs to report the volcanic eruption on Wednesday in Indonesia. The lede is phrased as, "Rescuers scoured the slopes of Indonesia's most volatile volcano on Wednesday after it was rocked by an eruption that spewed clouds of searing ash, killing at least 25 villagers including an old man known as the mountain's spiritual gatekeeper."

The verbs, "scoured", "rocked", and "spewed" gave my mind vivid images as I was reading the lede. The choice of verbs also made me feel the intensity of the volcano. Because the article captured my senses, it automatically made me feel connected to the event although I live on the other side of the world from it. Making a connection made it personal and I wanted to know more about it. For me, it's a good lesson on the power of using descriptive verbs to capture the reader's senses in a Lede.

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/indonesias-volcanic-eruption-claims-25-lives/703207/

Internet Privacy and Harrasment Case Discussed

I always find articles that discuss internet cases interesting because a lot of times these cases are setting precedents to rules regarding internet conduct. In the age of the internet, rules and restrictions will need to catch up with the growing use of the internet in manners that are legal, illegal, appropriate, disparaging and compromising to individual's safety and privacy. It's fascinating to see how our legal system is going to try and catch up with what's happening in the age of the internet and as a journalist how you cover these stories.

http://www.boston.com/business/technology/articles/2010/10/20/court_to_google_tell_nyer_who_posted_about_her/

National Journal is Retooling

http://www.boston.com/ae/media/articles/2010/10/25/national_journal_is_back_in_nimbler_form/

This telling article was tucked deep in the business section of the Globe today. The National Journal, a policy and process heavy journal that is a very expensive must read for DC lobbyists and agencies, has started to see the virtual light. At heart of their journalistic turn to a glossy magazine format and a user-friendly on-line site is the competitive heat they feel from DC news outlets such as Politico. "In a day and age when people demand to have it (news) when they want it and where they want it, the National Journal wasn't delivering that." The National Politico's storyline about their retooling: "we are at war."

Remember the BP Oil Spill?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11620902%22%3Ehttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11620902

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/25/AR2010102500869.html


BP CEO Bob Dudley addressed a lobbyist group in London today. His speech centered on rebuilding the company's image in the United States.



Above are two links to coverage of the story. The first is from the BBC; the second from AP. I found it interesting that one story is straight business coverage targeted toward a UK audience, while the other is meant for U.S. readers and takes in a lot more cultural controversy.

Great Story with Direct Lede

$18 Million to Man Wrongly Imprisoned

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/20/nyregion/20award.html

A Bronx man who was imprisoned for more than two decades on a rape conviction before being cleared by DNA evidence was awarded $18.5 million by a jury on Tuesday.

This story almost speaks for itself, so a direct lede was definitely the way to go. I have come to realize that the choice between a direct or delayed lede often times depends on what the story is. This kind of news seems like it would be an automatic hook and therefore, it may not be too beneficial to come up with some other content to place in the first sentence.

Anita Hill V. Clarence Thomas...19 years later.

This story about Virginia Thomas demanding an apology from Anita Hill nearly two decades after the sexual harassment scandal is ubiquitous. I have found three very different stories about it, all utilizing similar facts and even exact quotes.

The CNN one focuses on the 1991 case and reignites the feud between Hill and Thomas.

The Yahoo! AP story focuses on the phone call itself, the strange timing of it and Hill's aversion to the press.

Finally, the Christian Science Monitor gives an inordinate amount of attention to Virginia Thomas and her political pursuits, which seem to nearly overshadow the harassment issue or even the phone call to Hill.

What is the news media forgot to report the facts?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/19/us/politics/19taxes.html?ref=todayspaper

"What if a president cut Americans’ income taxes by $116 billion and nobody noticed? It is not a rhetorical question. " This is the strong lede in a story about the tax cut hidden in the stimulus package. We are told that the Obama administration intended this piece of the legislation fly under the radar, so that the additional cash would be spent and not saved in order to help to stimulate the economy. But no where in the article is a key piece of information. What was the news media's culpability in this? Why were so few Americans unaware of the reduction in their withholding?

SLAMMER

I was shocked when I saw a publication called Slammer at a gas station next to my office. The link is below:

http://www.slammernews.com/palm_beach_co_fl.htm

The link is to the Palm Beach edition. The edition I saw was the Broward County edition. The cover stated “first issue. COLLECTIBLE!” I bought a copy for a $1.00 just because it struck me. The publication has arrest pictures plastered all over its first page and all throughout the publication.

The rationale is that this ok to do because the pictures are public record. I don’t think it’s fair to someone arrested for possessing less than 20 ounces of cannabis or a DUI or any misdemeanor. Some of the people on the cover where arrested for driving with a suspended license. Let me tell you, in Florida you can get your license suspended for anything.

I guess the point is that just because something is public record doesn’t mean that it should be used for publication purposes. Journalist should be responsible and try to avoid embarrassing someone if possible. I see no justification for publishing a picture of 17-year-old who was arrested for driving with a suspended license. We don’t know if this individual is guilty and publishing their picture in a weekly publication amounts to a sort of punishment. In fact, a punishment which could be harsher than any imposed by a court.

An example, a person could be arrested for possession of cannabis and then found to be not guilty. Meanwhile, the person’s boss sees the picture and fires him/her.
It could be argued that newspapers publish suspect’s names before there is a determination as to their guilt. However, most of the crimes reported in regular media tend to be about more substantial crimes like murder, manslaughter, drug trafficking, etc.

Media-mania

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/18/world/americas/18chile.html?hpw

This is a great example of media desperate to weave feature stories out of a news story: rescue of Chilean miners.

The quote: “I’ve had nightmares these days,” Mr. Reygadas said from the cramped tent, as reporters jostled for space. “But the worst nightmare is all of you,” I feel is very powerful. When we as journalists are asked to go out here and ask questions to victims in a bid to get the best quotes and exclusive stories; victim's mental & physical state cannot be ignored.

It also reveals to me how people try to milk any opportunity. While most of the miners cared for pesos to give interviews, families of some were content with sidra or "dignity and kindness"!

a fearless story!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/17/world/asia/17headley.html?_r=1&hp

This story struck me for its courage to expose the authorities. And the quote in near middle of the article: "Indirectly, they told me to get lost," is a great one I feel. In merely seven words in a snappy phrase, it covers the gist of a woman reporting to American authorities that her husband may be a terrorist and the authorities not paying heed to it.

Details about Mr. Headley like: "But at night he loved watching “Seinfeld” and Jay Leno;" and giving the sense of place as we were talking about in last class in: "Sipping tea in a cafe overlooking a plaza in Morocco, Ms. Outalha said that in hindsight, she is convinced that he is both men." add a lot of life to the otherwise morose story.

Example of a focused profile

If you think about it, it probably isn't surprising that fashion writers would be able to write good descriptive pieces. After all, this is a group that has to tell readers what they see in almost every assignment.
Shortly after last week's class, I saw a terrific piece on Ralph Lauren and his new store in Manhattan in the New York Times.
Jam-packed with visuals through words.

An excellent color story

While the news outlets have been brimming with accounts of the Chilean miners being rescued from truly unimaginable circumstances, the New York Times had a terrific international-is-local story -- headline: Chileans in New York Cheer Miners.
The story focuses on restaurant patrons in a New York Restaurant-Row Chilean bistro as they watch and celebrate the rescues.
I personally was charmed by the story because of its simplicity -- this isn't the usual NYT heavy, serious fare, which, don't get me wrong, I do respect. But every now and then, I enjoy a story that is easily informative and cheers on the soul. Simply.
Here in Pittsburgh, where a similar rescue took place a few years ago (Quecreek in Somerset, Pa.), we've had color stories on workers who were deployed to help in Chile because of their experience; we've been given detailed stories about the equipment and medical procedures that are needed to bring the trapped men back to the surface. All good.
But there is something special about regular people celebrating a miracle.

See what social networking did- created news!

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/10/13/tail_of_a_whale_snapped_in_2_seas_reveals_surprising_wanderlust/

Here, all voices in the piece except the "citizen scientist" Johansen are authorities on whales at some level. I think it's fair considering the scientific nature of the article.

30-word lede. Check.

I liked Philip's funny quote that it may be whale's navigation mistake and not such a big deal or pattern:

“This remarkable movement shows either that humpback whales are amazingly flexible, or that they’re capable of making amazingly large navigational mistakes!’’

The kicker however seemed more like promotion for Boston Globe. It could definitely have been made stronger. Also, Johansen is a source, perhaps the co-protagonist along with Mccullogh, but not the coauthor. It is a good effort to bring the story full-circle though, Johansen being in the lede:

“This is my first time as coauthor of anything at all,’’ Johansen wrote. “You can imagine my surprise when it turned out the way it did!’’

Also I feel there are two stories intertwined here: the power of social networking in enabling discoveries and the poor whale's story (which is subdued under the former story) that traveled record-breaking 6000-miles as precursor to future studies.

Good Lede, Hot Button Story That Presents More Questions Than Answers

I came across this New York Times story on the Rutgers University student, Tyler Clementi who committed suicide after a web video of him being intimate with another male was broadcast live by his roommate, Dharun Ravi. I found this story interesting for a few reasons. First of all-I thought the lede was direct and revealing. We've discussed different ledes and why certain ones work and why others don't. In this case-this lede works-given the subject matter. It's appropriate. With a story like this, you want the reporter to tell you the subject and facts in a straight forward manner.

We've discussed bias in this class and how successful some journalists are in removing their own bias from a story to allow the viewers to come to their own opinions. I'm not sure if this reporter did that completely but she did bring up a few quotes and "Twitter" messages from the accused student that I found to be interesting. In many of the articles I've read online or seen on television, it's talked about the events that happened after the streaming of the encounter on the webcam but not the events before or from Ravi's perspective of what motivated him to do this. Lisa Foderaro shows that in the Tweets Dharun Ravi made about Clementi's actions in their dorm room, there was some obvious tension between them and there was some reoccurring pattern in conflict. The quotes from the defendant are indicative that the author does believe there was conflict and while perhaps prejudice from Ravi, the extent of it being called a "hate crime" are in some question. I do think Foderaro does have clear bias towards the fact that Ravi is guilty by use of the quotes she uses such as one made by gay rights groups like this "Steven Goldstein, chairman of the gay rights group Garden State Equality, said Wednesday that he considered the death a hate crime. “We are sickened that anyone in our society, such as the students allegedly responsible for making the surreptitious video, might consider destroying others’ lives as a sport,” he said in a statement. ". She does show that Clementi was unknown by most students and that there were no prior incidents of violence, verbal abuse, or anything else from Ravi or any other student. I found this article interesting because I was left with more questions than answers about the boy who broadcast the encounter Clementi had in their room and I have more questions about Clementi himself. How he was perceived by others, his family, what conflicts he and Ravi had besides this. This articles does make me see that the incident isn't as black and white as it seems.

Obviously another important thing to note about this article is that facts about this story were and are still unfolding, so the reporter was writing based on the information she had and based on the interviews with people she encountered at the time. This hot-button topic and story will produce many more interesting angles.

Brilliant Human Interest Story!!!

Someone shared this human interest story with me. It's a lot longer than anything we are used to reading. I wanted to share it with everyone because I was so impressed by it. The story is well-written, captivating and incredibly compelling. The vivid details and the brilliant quotes make it one of the most powerful stories I have ever read! I think the descriptive paragraphs can serve as wonderful examples in terms of style and sentence structure. The sentences are short and precise. Despite its long length, the story is very easy to read and follow. After reading this story, I seem to really understand what the professor meant when she said PACING. For a journalist to write a story with these kind of intimate details, I imagine the depth of research, interviewing and eye-witnessing must have been extensive.

Here is the link:
"Above and Beyond" by Wright Thompson

I really recommend this to anyone that has time!

FYI...If everything goes according to plan, the miners might get to evacuate on Wednesday, October 13th.

Not local by a long shot

Following our class last night with Andrew Meldrum, I spent some time on the globalpost website this morning. (I had meant to since June mentioned it the previous week.) What a revelation! If you are curious about international news that is not covered in other major newspapers, globalpost.com is for you. (For example, Andrew Meldrum introduced a series on the rising middle calss in African countries last summer.)

I spent seven years in Ethiopia while I was growing up (age 8-15), and am always hungry for news about Ethiopia. Here is a link to a good short story about the hyenas in Harrar, which I remember today as vividly as if I had seen them last week. Enjoy!

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/africa/100716/ethiopia-hyenas

The art of showing and not telling

As a lover of poetry and literature, it's been an eye-opener for me to learn just how much the rule of "show, don't tell" permeates both fiction and journalism. For fans of sportswriting, the masterpiece of "show, don't tell" writing is WC Heinz's "Death of a Racehorse", which was published in 1949 in the New York Sun. It was a deadline piece, written immediately after a race in which an injured horse had to be put down.

Heinz's prose is almost bare-bones. Color is added by quotes from various characters around the track. Consider the lede:

"They were going to the post for the sixth race at Jamaica, two year olds, some making their first starts, to go five and a half furlongs for a purse of four thousand dollars. They were moving slowly down the backstretch toward the gate, some of them cantering, others walking, and in the press box they had stopped their working or their kidding to watch, most of them interested in one horse.

"Air Lift," Jim Roach said. "Full brother of Assault."

Assault, who won the triple crown ... making this one too, by Bold Venture, himself a Derby winner, out of Igual, herself by the great Equipoise ... Great names in the breeding line ... and now the little guy making his first start, perhaps the start of another great career."

It's remarkable how easily he builds tension and creates a sense of scope. It soon all comes crashing down for Air Lift:

"They were off well, although Air Lift was fifth. They were moving toward the first turn, and now Air Lift was fourth. They were going into the turn, and now Air Lift was starting to go, third perhaps, when suddenly he slowed, a horse stopping, and below in the stands you could hear a sudden cry, as the rest left him, still trying to run but limping, his jockey -- Dave Gorman -- half falling, half sliding off.

"He broke a leg!" somebody, holding binoculars to his eyes, shouted in the press box. "He broke a leg!""

The entire piece is like this. No telling the audience what to feel. Prose that describes and little more. Very spare use of adjectives and adverbs. I'd like to write about the end, but I don't want to spoil it. I'll just say that it's some of the most haunting writing I've ever read. of course, not once does Heinz tell me that the scene is haunting.

Read the article here: http://www.gangrey.com/66

How Local is Local

On August 20, The Boston Globe ran the following story: Maine Wind Farm not Soothing to all Ears (link to the whole story follows://www.boston.com/news/science/articles/2010/08/30/maine_wind_farm_not_soothing_to_all_ears/). Ironically, I had just been on Vinalhaven and gawked at the 135 foot high turbines as I rode past them on my bike. "Fantastic, futuristic, way to go" I thought until I read the cranky (or so I thought) Globe article. Seems transplant residents Art Lindgren and his wife are leading a small but vocal band of naysayers to wind power. They've got noise measuring devices and charts and a lot of wordy wind (no pun). Basically, after reading the Globe article I thought them all crankpots. I had been by the turbines and had heard nothing.

Today, another article popped up about the same wind turbine dust-up on Vinalhaven. But this time the story ran bottom of the fold, front-page, of The New York Times. (link to article follows: For those Near the Miserable Hum of Clean Energy....http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/06/business/energy-environment/06noise.html). According to The New York Times, not only have noise complaints emminated from little Vinalhaven in Penobscott Bay, but also in Illinois, Texas, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Massachusetts, among other states. Beyond our borders, complaints have arisen in Canada and Great Britain. Perhaps the Lindgren's are not so cranky after all.

But I have my own personal crank with the issue: Why didn't the Globe put this story in context? Why didn't they give it any teeth? It makes a difference if an incident is a one-off or if there is evidence of the same phenomenon occurring in other places.

Like Molly's complaint about the Boston-based MacArthur genius grant story, the Globe once again failed to put the wind turbine news piece in a wider context. Yes, there is a local angle to both the wind turbine and MacArthur grant recipient stories, but imagine how much richer and more meaty each of the stories would have been if our local news makers were put in the context of the big picture, where they belong.

A colorful lede

I brought this story in last week but didn't get a chance to read it. It's from last week's LA Times coverage of the first Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown gubernatorial debate. Since this story has been published, allegations that Meg Whitman hired, and then fired, an "illegal immigrant," the race has gotten more intense, with both candidates making personal attacks towards each other. I thought the lede for the first story was very good and colorful and set up a good picture of what these debates were like. The first two paragraphs are:

In a blustery and vigorous first debate, gubernatorial candidates Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown dueled Tuesday over their differing solutions to California's dire problems, with Whitman slighting Brown as a tool of labor unions and Brown excoriating her as a billionaire running for office to benefit the rich.

From start to finish, the one-hour debate was a distillation of the months of the general election race, its tone set by an early question about how each would grapple with the state's $19-billion budget deficit. After Democrat Brown said he would bring all parties together, Republican Whitman seized on his vow.

You can read the full story here: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-governor-debate-20100929,0,3751700.story

Using addresses of the accused in stories

I came across this story about two teachers accused of having sex with minors, as well throwing sex & drug parties students, but what struck me as odd was the reporting of the home address of the two accused teachers.

Check it out here: http://www.goupstate.com/article/20100921/ARTICLES/9211025/1051?tc=ar

It struck me as odd that the address would be used, especially in something that involves a "sex with a minor" charge. I brought this up to Jeremy and he mentioned that this is standard practice, but there are certain cases where they wouldn't do this (dometic violence cases, etc...)

What do you all think of reporting the home address of the accused person in a story? The information that is reported is public information and is available to everyone...but is it too invasive? Do people have a right to know?

It's not so simple

From the readings we were sent this week, I'm guessing we will discuss simple language -- which really isn't simple at all.
Take for example an incident I just noticed this morning:
On NBC's "Today" show, an anchor was interviewing a woman and her mother; the woman allegedly witnessed her husband's murder on a lake that is both part of the U.S. and Mexico. The anchor asked the woman's mother if she was disturbed that the "voracity" of her daughter's story was questioned.
"Voracity"? Really?
Why not just use the word truthfulness?
This is especially ironic as morning television shows cater to a wide audience, not a niche vocabulary-steeped group.

Oh, come on, Boston Globe

One story, hair-raising in its implications, handled differently in two newspapers makes for a good writing lesson.

The Boston Globe story, placed, like the New York Times story, on the front page, emphasizes the local connection, which makes for a less focused piece of writing.

The Globe lede is, “Picking through musty files in a Pennsylvania archive, a Wellesley professor made a heart-stopping discovery: US government scientists in the 1940s deliberately infected hundreds of Guatemalans with syphilis and gonorrhea in experiments conducted without the subjects’ permission.” This appears to be the nut graf as well. The story has two themes: the 1940’s research and the present day researcher who discovered the 1940 research.

The article continues with a new paragraph, “Medical historian Susan R. Reverby happened upon the documents four or five years ago while researching the infamous Tuskegee syphilis study and later shared her findings with US government officials.” The writer, Stephen Smith, Globe staff, has maintained the focus on the researcher, rather than the newsworthy findings of the research.

The next sentence starts with what appears at first glance to be a grammatical error : “The unethical research was not publicly disclosed until yesterday, when President Obama and two Cabinet secretaries apologized to Guatemala’s government and people and pledged never to repeat the mistakes of the past.”

On a second reading, I realized “unethical research” refers to the 1940s research not the current research into that earlier research. But because the primary focus remains, maddeningly, the present day research and researcher, this is not immediately clear.

The New York Times story begins with a much stronger lede: “From 1946 to 1948, American public health doctors deliberately infected nearly 700 Guatemalans – prison inmates, mental patients and soldiers – with venereal diseases in what was meant to as an effort to test the effectiveness of penicillin. This lede, in my opinion, includes only the necessary facts, and, unlike the Globe lede, it suggests why the research was conducted.

The New York Times article also shows signs of more legwork having been done to flesh out the story. Past US medical investigations involving vulnerable subjects are detailed, and a Guatemalan paper’s reaction is quoted. The story of how the Wellesley professor discovered the Guatemalan research project is included, but in context, not as a primary focus of this important story.

An interesting Lede

I thought this Lede was interesting:

"By the time the bullets slammed into the Tripod Collision & Repair Shop's concrete walls — thwack, thwack, thwack — Gibson Junior Belizaire had nowhere left to run."

On a previous blog I analyzed another article by the same author and came to the conclusion that voice overshadowed content. However, The same cannot be said of this piece. This piece paints a picture of Miami that is real and yet distant. I dont know how many times I drove through overtown as if it didnt exist. As if the only thing that existed was my car and the pavement.

This piece gets me out of the car and paints the sad yet fascinating streets of overtown with another hue.

The Lede is great because it starts with action in the middle of the story. The sound effects although tacky create an atmosphere and pace.

Another sentence that caught my is the following:

"The muddy yard flashed red and blue in the swaying, early-afternoon police lights."

This sentence may be a bit poetic, but it works fine in the piece. The point is to write a story that is informative, enlightning, and entertaining. Below is the link

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2010-09-23/news/gibson-belizaire-victim-or-criminal/